So...I had the flu.
So last week after a really fun road trip with my husband, I got the flu. Let me start by saying that I did get the flu shot a couple weeks ago, so there's that. Also, I am an avid vitamin whore...I take them religiously, every day, but I slacked a little bit on the road trip. Was that the cause of everything? Did I let my defenses down? Or was it all the hotel beds I slept in…OMG I just don’t know. Whatever it was, I was the only one in my family to get sick, and it has not been fun.
It crept up on me last Wednesday. I was having a fun day at work with my faves - Kaley, Brad, Teenie, and Daniela...oh and Simon the rabbit, of course. As the day (and our antics) went on, I could feel something coming over me. A small sore in my throat, an achiness...maybe I was just hungry! Or tired! I’m definitely just tired. I tried to think of every possible reason for the feeling because I absolutely did not want to think I was getting sick. I went through the day, got home, and thought it might be nothing. Went to bed like normal, all was well, but sure enough, I woke up cold, shivering, and aching in the middle of the night. My head was pounding and my throat was on fire. I went straight to my phone and signed up for the heal app...they actually had an opening at 8:00 a.m.
But the next morning I felt like holy hell! 😓 I had a fever of 102 and I just felt awful. The doctor came and told me I didn't have strep (test backed that up, woohoo!) but I did have the flu (test backed that up, bummer). He told me to eat a raw onion if I could handle it, then showed me the flu molecular structure and how it affects the body (it looks like a jack)! He prescribed Tamiflu (which you can take within 48 hours of being affected to fight off the flu faster), told me to take advil, mucinex during the day, and nyquil at night.
Now it’s a week later and I’ve finally seen the light, but last week was honestly pretty devastating. I've never had to cancel so much work. Almost a full week and on the weekend of the SAG Awards! It was such a bummer. I slept a ton, watched a lot of tv (Dirty John, Fyre documentary, R Kelly documentary, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) and I went down the infamous rabbit hole of Instagram.
I was already feeling bad about my health, but seeing everyone #LivingTheirBestLife got me feeling bad about the rest of myself too. Sure, some things were happy - a friend got engaged and I was thrilled - but for most of it, I just had major FOMO!!!!! (Fear Of Missing Out). I wasn’t working, I wasn’t with my family, and I didn’t feel like I was being productive at all. I WAS SICK. I compared myself to everyone I saw, and it took me down a dark hole.
I'm sharing this with you because at the end of the day, we’re all human. Now more than ever we can follow people's lives and think everything is perfect all the time. At first, I didn't even want to share I was sick because it sure did not feel pretty. I found myself feeling sick and sad...and this wasn't me. I guess I'm not good at just resting, which I know I need to do sometimes. I’m a doer (you know the feeling) and if I'm not doing, my mind wanders.
I vented to my sister-in-law about how off my vibe was. I told her that anxiety was bleeding into weird places, and she told me to check myself. I did.
You have to remember that you are the only one who can change the dialogue in your brain. You control the story, as hard as it may seem, but in this moment of sickness and sadness, I had to remind myself that the things I was telling myself were not true. It was just FOMO, my ego, taking over and telling me things that made it worse. To help snap out of that, I started taking steps that I knew would help pull me out. I listened to the Insight Timer app, which has meditations, sounds, mantras and stories. I’m obsessed. It was so helpful in centering myself and coming back to reality. You can control every emotion you have…sometimes it’s just harder than others. But never forget that you hold the power, and never forget that there are so many people rooting for you to do that.
Love you from my non-perfect bed.
Some of the apps that helped me through…