I will be the Steve Jobs of Makeup!
Apple made waves last weekend by launching Apple TV+, and ya girl was there, y’all. Sure, I was there to glam up my gal Rashida Jones, but who’s to say I wasn’t there for my OWN research? I think I’m pretty good in the makeup world, but now I want to rule it. No matter what it takes, I SHALL BECOME THE STEVE JOBS OF MAKEUP.
Have you seen the HBO documentary about Elizabeth Holmes? Crazy. CRAZY. But I’m not crazy. Elizabeth threw on the turtle neck, dropped the voice, and lied to millions to reach Steve Jobs status. I, on the other hand, have a real and awesome product (SWAG BAG!), an adorable voice, and…ok, I don’t hate the turtle neck tbh. So maybe I’ll keep that part of the Steve Jobs obsession. But without lies and fraud, I can be the Steve Jobs of Makeup!!!
Here are some of my findings from my “work trip” (undercover research trip) to Apple HQ.
The iPad-run coffee stations are the type of high-tech, fancy-shmancy things I need in my kitchen. You press all these fun buttons on the iPad and whatever you want instantly comes out. Can I get this type of stuff for food too?? Simon can say he wants chicken nuggets, I can yell, “SIRI, GET SIMON CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!!” and voila, they’ll drop right into his hands.
The whole building is basically a big donut with a mile long circumference. Maybe having to walk miles to a meeting helps employees exercise since they probably don’t have much extra time with their work schedules. Or maybe it gets the juices flowin’ when they walk so much. I should start walking to all of my clients instead of driving there. That will work out very well in this great walking city of Los Angeles.
It’s also a store!! Anyone can pop in there when they crack their iPhone screen just like any other Apple Store. Offering the product right where it’s developed is a cool strategy. Elizabeth Holmes did NOT do this very well. She didn’t really offer the product super well anywhere, for that matter. But if I opened my She Shed and made it a makeup shop, ooo hunney you would be in heaven.
This place was green and clean. A lot of parking is underground so they can keep lots of the natural landscape, and I would bet that more of the site was actually outdoors than indoors. I appreciate that. We should all focus on maintaining nature, getting outside, and being sustainable!
Their bathrooms have a Mother’s Room for changing babies AND free feminine products!! EVERYONE SHOULD BE LIKE APPLE!! Not Elizabeth Holmes because I don’t think she adopted this part of the support-all-your-employees policy, but Apple has certainly modeled the way companies should embrace female employees and employees who are parents in general.
Overall, I’m into Apple Park and I would like it to be my Jamie Makeup office please. After all, we need more women up in Silicon Valley and in the STEM world, and while women are certainly not the only ones who love makeup and skincare, I can’t deny they’re my largest clientele. If I head up there with my Makeup Start-up (it flows, doesn’t it?) I can bring the women with me!! I will be the Steve Jobs of makeup one lipstick and turtleneck at a time.
(This is a joke. I’m very happy being the Jamie of Makeup).